With my diagnosis late last year followed by 4 ½ months of chemotherapy starting in January it hadn’t been the best start to the year. However, the events over the last few weeks with my mother’s illness and her death last week has put it all in perspective.
One of the consequences of these events has been that all her children have reunited for the first time in several years. None of us lives close to each other. The current spread is Bill in Hawaii, Jamie in New York, Alison in Knowle and me in Suffolk. It has been a long time since we have all managed to be in the same place at the same time. So it has been a surprise that in such tragic circumstances we have managed to get together and have some good laughs and possibly too much wine! I know that my mother would have approved. Although Bill said that she would actually be annoyed that she was missing out. I think he is probably right.
This is a photo at Bill’s Cafe du Soleil where we all met for supper. For those reading who do not recognise all the faces, from the left they are; me, Bim, Tony, Alison, Jamie, Emilie, Emmanuelle and Bill.
We joked with my mum for years about how difficult it would be to tackle sorting out all the ‘stuff’ in her home after she had gone. It is a six-bedroom property and every room is full. Over the last few months, with my mum’s health failing, we discussed various options with her about the possibility of moving to a smaller bungalow or flat but we always came back to the issue of what to do with ‘everything’. We came to the conclusion that she could not move. Well, the reality is now on us and we have to make decisions about how to proceed. With all of us together we have been able to make some progress. I was shocked to find that my old bedroom still had loads of my things; school work, none of which was ever worth keeping in the first place, photos, toys etc. I thought I had cleared everything years ago, so I was very surprised to find it still there.
Although Ma’s home is full of all the usual sort of stuff – furniture, kitchen equipment, TVs and so on, all of these are only things. Most of which are not really that personal. However, it is the photos, slides and letters of which there are drawers, suitcases and cupboards full, which is going to take a lifetime to go through. I took a tiny amount of these home with me at the weekend and found that I was looking at some old slides from between about 1956 to 1964. I was born in 1962, so I was too young to remember these photos being taken, but they do bring back warm happy feelings, rather than sadness. I have managed to transfer some of these old slides on to the computer and they really are of a different age. I have put some online at http://gallery.thebethams.com if you would like to see them and I will try to add more later as time allows.
Having spent a little while looking through these photos it has made me appreciate what an idyllic start I had in life. Although I have always known this, it does no harm to be reminded. There were lots of cousins and friends to play with, long hot summer holidays in Cornwall on the beach, I am sure it never rained there! When we were at home we had great birthday parties. Tony said that the photos make it look like we were part of an Enid Blyton adventure story with ‘lashings of ginger beer’! I do not think he was too far from the truth.
I have only scratched the surface of a house full of memories, but at this stage I feel I just need to say thank you to my parents, Harry and Sheila Betham for the amazing start they gave me (and Alison, Bill and Jamie) in life. Thank you.
