I
haven’t posted anything on our blog for a while. It’s not for want of trying. I
have written out a couple of new chapters but then deleted them before
uploading. I will explain why in a bit more detail later on in this blog.
But what it comes down to is that I have been feeling rather negative recently
and didn’t quite know how to put this into words that I would be happy for you
to read. I am pleased to say that I have largely come through this period, but
perhaps I have a new sense of realism about my illness. More about that
later.
We
have quite a bit of news to tell you about.
The
first and obviously the most important is that it was my birthday at the
weekend!
I had the most brilliant day spent with close family and friends. We
booked a cottage in rainy Wales for a few days as it was Ellie’s final end of
course exhibition at CAT (Centre for Alternative Technology) where she has been
studying intensively for her part two architecture degree. Ellie’s final
project was based on educating the public about plastic waste which is a very
current news topic. 
The amount of work and the standard of presentation from Ellie and all her fellow students was incredible. For those of you who have not heard of
CAT, it is a cross between an environmentally forward thinking university
and a vegetarian hippie commune. It has suited Ellie perfectly for the last 18
months.
We had a lovely meal out on my
birthday. This is a photo of us in our cottage just about to go out.
From left to right we have Gary,
Chris, Maurice, Me, Bim, Ellie, Connor, Jeanette, Dan & Keith. I was so
touched that everyone could join us.
Now
I’ll tell you a little bit about how I have been feeling recently. This really
started about a year ago when I decided to try and make the most of every
situation and maintain a positive attitude all the time. This approach may have
helped for a while through a difficult year with chemotherapy, then my mum’s
death in the summer followed by a pretty horrible finish to my career at
Framingham College. The problem this approach created was that I did not feel
able to talk about the ever present and obvious worries I have about the
future. Because I wouldn’t talk about these things, this meant Bim could not
either. I had effectively bottled it up which actually was not healthy.
This ‘positive’ approach finally
failed a couple of weeks ago, and we had a very emotional few days bringing
into the open all our fears and negative feelings. Despite it being very
difficult talking about these fears it has done us both the world of good to
bring it all out in the open. We have even decided to attend one of the
prostate cancer support groups which meet each month.
This was all just before our latest
consultant appointment. We both get very tense before these meetings, knowing
that at some point the news won’t be good. However, this time the results from
the blood test were all normal, so we can relax again for a while. We will have
to go through this again in another three months.
That’s all for now. I would like to
thank you for continuing to read these blogs. I will try not to leave it so
long until the next one.
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