It really must be time for another blog update. Looking back, I realise that our last post was in December last year. So we have nine months of news to tell you about. Sadly, with the Coronavirus pandemic we do not have the usual holiday travels to tell you about, other than one trip we made to Madeira in January to celebrate my birthday.
We might as well start with the one holiday we did manage to take, although it does seem a long time ago now. We visited Madeira for the first time this year, staying at a stunning hotel called Estalagem in Ponta Do Sol. The hotel is perched on top of a cliff by the sea, so we had stunning views of the village below us and the Atlantic Ocean. We were really taken with the island and the amazing scenery it holds. January is one of the cooler months, but we were still able to enjoy some fabulous weather and we had several meals outside in the sunshine. I have included a few photos below.
Along with so many other people, we had our holiday plans for this year cancelled. We were due to return to Amari Havodda in the Maldives in April. The island is still closed, but we hope we will be able to go early next year. We just have to wait and see what happens with the pandemic.
It is now nearly four years since I was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. This is quite a milestone, as we were told at the time that my prognosis was a four to five year life expectancy. As you can imagine, that was absolutely devastating news and we were in shock for a long time. I would like to share with you some of our thoughts and feelings we had at the time. As a contrast I would then like to run through some of our experiences since that time. We have joined the ever growing and unwelcome Big C Club, and since being diagnosed several friends have started to go through the same experience. When you receive your diagnosis and are told that you can’t be cured, not surprisingly everything looks completely bleak. It was always our hope that by writing this blog, it might help others, going through similarly difficult times to try to see the future in a more positive way.
To be honest, the time around when I was diagnosed is all a bit of a blur now. I think my mind has buried some of the most traumatic memories. I just remember feeling so overwhelmingly sad. I realised I was going to miss out on so much of our family’s future. To be told that you won’t be there for your loved ones is the most difficult thing to come to terms with. It is still very painful to think about that time, but there are a couple of random thoughts I do remember from the early days after I was diagnosed, which I would like to share with you.
I have always enjoyed servicing our cars, with regular oil changes every six months. Bim’s car was due for some attention and I remember thinking while I was draining the oil in the garage that this was probably the last time I would be doing this.
The other strange thought I remember is that I felt there was no point in buying any new shirts now that I had prostate cancer. Those of you who know me well will realise that I have never really been into buying new clothes anyway, so why this thought came to me I have no idea.
I know Bim has several memories like this. One of hers was that she was going to miss ironing my shirts. These few memories are from our lowest point, and just show we felt that there was nothing to look forward to in life any more. As you can imagine it was difficult trying to put a brave face on when we spoke to, or met with friends.
I am pretty sure that most people going through this sort of situation themselves will have similar, unhappy, and slightly bizarre memories.
And now for something completely different!
Apologies if that was all rather depressing, but I wanted to try and show you how low we were at that time and, in contrast, just how much there can be to look forward to. With that in mind I would like to list a few of our high points in the last four years.
Early retirement. After going through a difficult time at work, I decided to take early retirement. We did worry about money, but it is an absolute joy not to have to go to work on a full time basis any more. I now cook every now and then at a small care home on a casual basis which suits me perfectly. I know I’ve said it before, but if you ever have the opportunity to work less, just take it! Bim has cut down to four days a week, which we love as it gives us more time to do the things we enjoy together. This week we took a ten mile walk around the local villages, discovering places we didn’t know existed. We regularly meet up with friends or go for a meal on Bim’s extra day off.
Holidays! If you have kept up with this blog, you will know it has somewhat turned into a travel diary. We never really travelled much before, largely because work would so often get in the way. Since we received my diagnosis we have changed that in a dramatic way. Forgive me if I add a few photos into this section.
So far we have had three holidays in the Maldives, which was where we went for our honeymoon thirty years ago. Our favourite island has been Amari Havodda, which we planned to go to again this year. Coronavirus changed that plan! Hopefully next year, fingers crossed.
We visited Dubai for a week to stay with good friends, Linda and Benny. The desert was spectacular, as were the huge buildings and shopping Malls. We had a great time and enjoyed some fantastic meals together.
We also visited my two brothers and their families in Hawaii on Maui for a two week trip. It was a long way to go, but it was such an amazing place. We thoroughly recommend going if you get the chance. We completed our PADI Open Water diving certificate with Maui Dreams Dive Co while we were there, which we felt was quite an achievement. Unfortunately we haven’t been able to practice our new skills yet. We hope to dive again on our next trip to the Maldives.
We had a week in Madeira earlier this year, which I have already mentioned. We enjoyed it so much that we are booked to stay at the same hotel for a week next month. So far it looks like we should be able to go. We keep a keen eye on the government guidance on foreign travel and we know how quickly things can change, so we will just have to keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.
As well as our overseas expeditions we have also enjoyed several breaks in the UK. We had a memorable week staying on the west coast of Scotland with close friends, Maurice and Gary. The scenery was absolutely spectacular. As was the fresh seafood, the wines and the gin!
On top of these, we have also visited the Cotswolds, Peak District, Somerset and Wales for yet more enjoyable mini breaks.
Hopefully I haven’t bored you too much, but I am just pointing out that we probably would not have taken any of these holidays if we were both working the long hours that we used to. In a very real way, we have only enjoyed all these holidays as a direct result of my cancer diagnosis.
I won’t go on for much longer. I just want to come back to the negative thoughts we both had four years ago. I am still servicing Bim’s car on a regular basis, although we replaced mine with a new one, so that now goes back to the dealer for servicing. As for my shirt situation, I can honestly say that I cannot remember having so many new clothes in my wardrobe!
That’s nearly it for now, other than another brief word about my health. While we are not able to predict how much longer I may have, my treatment is going very well. My PSA is still really low, and I am still on the first treatment plan. This is a hormone implant every three months and a cancer drug trial for Metformin. When you are first diagnosed and start your treatment, which for me was chemotherapy, this can actually make you feel really ill. At the time I did not realise that this would wear off and I am constantly amazed at how well I now feel.
To conclude, I certainly intend to live longer than the four to five years we were initially told. We do not know how long this will be, but you can be absolutely sure we are going to enjoy every last moment!
I would like to dedicate this blog to all those who are going through the same difficult experience.
